you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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