do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
