the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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