it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
