Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
