At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
