around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize