Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
