Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
