Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
