You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
