he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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