her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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