you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
