the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
