I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
