Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
