I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
