I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
