Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You should frame my arrest warrant.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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