He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
