maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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