that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
