Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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