I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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