I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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