im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
