You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
