I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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