Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
