Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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