I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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