My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
