Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
