When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
