If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
