We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
