I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
