Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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