I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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