I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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