I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
