I faked an abortion last night.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize