The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
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