Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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