It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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