i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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