you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
