i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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