no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
