It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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