idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
