I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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