I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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