I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
