I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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