none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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