Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
