she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
