Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
