No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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