U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize